Grief can be so overwhelming that the hardest thing to muster is hope and strength.
I have been trying to write this post for many months now, but have been consumed by grief, a lack of creativity, and no desire to write.
Grief takes on many forms when you have chronic pain or a chronic illness, like fibromyalgia. You might be grieving the person you used to be, the life you used to have, or all of the things you used to be able to do.
Any loss can be profound and all-consuming. Even life-changing.
It is said to take anywhere from 21 – 66 days to build a new habit, with the time really varying from person to person. I started this 30 day journey as a way to get back on track with some of my daily habits that had slipped lately and refocus my priorities. I wanted to concentrate on the following:
Gratitude: I had lapsed from writing daily gratitudes
Mindful eating: I wasn’t logging my food
Fitness: I had added some extra pounds I wanted to lose
Mindset: I wanted to see if yoga would be more beneficial for all of my ailments than my typical mindless treadmill walking
Rest: I wanted to get my sleep habits back on track
So here is my final check-in of my 30 day personal challenge for the month of April.
A set-back is defined as a reversal in your progress. This past week I experienced a bit of a set back, that I wrote about in my post on The Challenge of Slowing Down. I hurt my back, came down with strep and inflamed vocal chords, and was ordered to go home and rest my voice. Then came the fibromyalgia flare. And then word that one of my cousins, who is just a few years older than me, died unexpectedly. Talk about some stress on the body.
This is what happens when you ignore the little voices in your head telling you to take it easy. Take a day off. Get some rest. If I had rested sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have developed strep and lost my voice, maybe I wouldn’t have gone into full fibro flare mode.
“Temporary set backs are overshadowed by persistence.” ~Quentin L. Cook
My body is wearing out. Since 2000 when I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my lower back and a few months later fibromyalgia, my body seems to have been on a steady decline. I used to be a treadmill warrior, committed to reaching those 10,000 steps a stay so my Fitbit would say “Nice job, Cindy!”. Well injuries and physical therapy and doctors recommendations to try something else have convinced me that perhaps I needed to fold up the treadmill for good. Or at least for the next 30 days…
I am embarking on a personal challenge for the month of April, to try to tweak some of my habits, to be more consistent with my practices. As JJ Virgin always says, “Little hinges swing big doors.” Sometimes those little tweaks make a big difference!
If “cotton is the fabric of our lives”, sleep should be considered the fabric of bodies and minds..
I have taken a very deliberate break from blogging and social media lately, as the demands of my day job have been consuming my time and energy. And much like others at the beginning of every new year, I have been trying to lose a few stubborn pounds that have crept on. I already have a pretty healthy diet and exercise program, so I decided reducing stress and getting some extra sleep might just be the two missing factors. And when your schedule is already overflowing and you need some extra Zzzzs, something has to give – for me that was writing and browsing social media.